An Extra-Special New Year's!

It looks like Jazmin is getting an extra special New Year's after she gets visited by the tooth fairy tonight! One of her front teeth were veeeeery wiggly, so she went to Grandma's house (the pro) to have it pulled. I'm not very good at pulling teeth because I freak out myself, and end up doing a terrible job... Adam's fingers are too big to get in there and get a hold of it, so he couldn't do it either. But I remember how my Mom was always so good at it when I was growing up, and how she has done the other kids' teeth before as well.  Mom said she felt really bad doing it because it wasn't really ready to come out yet, but I still think she did a great job. Of course it's going to hurt, it's a tooth being pulled out! But I think if anything, it's always the mental pain that hurts the worst. Then it happens, and you're like - wow, I got all worked up for nothing! It's not like she's going to remember it anyway. Here are the before and after pics. You can see how loose it is in the first picture by how crooked it had become:

And then here's the picture my Mom took of her while she was still over at her house:

It Doesn't Change Anything!

I have to admit, it's giving my eyes a good workout at how much I'm rolling them by the way people keep talking about 2020 being over, as if a new number is going to change anything. Just because the number is changing - it's not going to change the way our world is! It's still a dangerous place. Politics are still shitty. People are still assholes. Problems still exist. Just because the calendar rolls over, that doesn't mean it's a clean slate. But what we CAN do about this new year is try to make it better than the last. Be better as humankind. Try to do better to the world. Our lives are what we make of them, so make 2021 the best year that you can, because let's face it - you never know when it's going to be your last. It hasn't changed, but you can change it.

The Death Train (Dream)

I woke up from a nap today where I dreamed I had died and when I did, I found myself on a train. I knew I had died, and I remember stepping through the door onto the train, but I don't remember boarding or waiting to get on. And I remember there was a woman there that reminded me of my Grandma, as I could see the family resemblance. It was once of her sisters, and she had been there to greet me. For some reason, she had designated herself as the family guardian in the afterlife to direct us all where we needed to be, so we wouldn't get lost or mixed up. She was there to answer our questions and knew things we did not yet know. When she spoke, she had a real thick southern drawl like my Grandma did. Her eyes were dark, just like Grandma's, and she wore glasses. She also wore polyester shorts and a sleeveless blouse like Grandma did. Her hair was short and curly, the color of salt and pepper. I felt very much at ease around her.

At first, I felt a panic rush over me. I was dead? I knew I was dead, but it was a shock. I still had so much I needed to do. So much unfinished business, as well as me needing to finish raising these kids! What was Adam going to do without me? I felt so sad and guilty leaving them behind like this. I could only imagine how they felt without me. I didn't know if there was a way to go back, or if I had to go forward, or if I could stick around and be with them as they grew up, or what. But she just told me to have a seat and relax because my little girl would be joining me soon.

What did that mean? I was confused. Did this mean Tricity would be dying soon? Or had she died and in the middle of crossing over? She was so calm about everything, as if she had been through it all and didn't really have any emotions except for patience. Knowing what I was feeling, she assured me that Tricity indeed had died and that I was to wait here for her so we could be together again. I was heartbroken. My poor baby girl hadn't lived her whole life yet! What happened to her? Was it from depression after I died? Was she THAT lost without me? Or was she in an accident? Was it her health? I had so many questions, but I didn't want to ask my Great-Aunt because I didn't want to be a nuisance.

Although I was torn knowing Tricity's life was cut short, part of me was also happy that we would be together again soon. She truly is the light of my life. I hope when this life really is over, I can wait for her and we can be together again. I'd like to be able to finish watching her grow up and someday have kids of her own. Even if I'm not there physically. I hope to still be there in spiritually.