Even Adults Still Get Homesick

The plan for tonight was to go to Adam's brother Teddy's house, and then we were going to go to Pop's Nightclub to bring in the new year! But instead, we ended up staying the night at their house... Everyone was drinking except me, with being pregnant of course. I'm not much of a drinker anyway, not in front of strangers at least. It would have been fine with just Adam and his brother's family, but there were other people there I didn't know. Someone called Lois and Dave. Can't say I was very impressed by them...

Adam had a little bit of some sour apple pucker. I think he bought it for the shotglass more than anything else, because he didn't drink much. He's not much of a drinker, either. Anyway, when it was bedtime, they blew up an air mattress for us to sleep on in the living room. I couldn't sleep. I was so homesick :-( I think I had finally passed out around 6:00 in the morning...

I remember when I was a kid, trying to stay the night at my friend Cassandra's house. Everyone else went to bed and I was left awake by myself. I had to end up coming home that night because I got so homesick. I thought about - what is my Mom doing without me? I could be at home right now doing something I like rather than listening to everyone else sleep and having to be quiet. And it was the same then as it is now. I wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed.

The only time my homesickness started to go away was when I met my best friend Tahnee as a teenager. I stayed the night at her house, and it was hard at first, but something about her, her house, her family, and the time we spent together - I guess I didn't feel like an outsider. And she stayed up with me, too, so I wasn't all alone, until we were both ready to pass out. She really helped me get through it, and she's the first person I could ever stay the night with without having to go home in the middle of the night.

Family's Photos

Well since we've gotten our photos back from the portrait studio, I've been working on the copies of me and Adam's photos that we're going to be giving out to his family members. Here's my favorite one that we have so far! What's so neat about these pictures is that it's not just me and Adam in this photo. I'm carrying our baby in this picture as well! ♥

Nothing much happened today besides me working on these pictures. I went shopping with my Mom and my brother. That was about it... Now to wait for the busy weekend to come! I wonder what the new year will bring?

The Baby's Heartbeat!

Adam and I went to our doctor's appointment today. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat, FINALLY! It was SO SWEET! I still can't believe I'm carrying a whole other person inside of me. Something with it's own thoughts, it's own movements, and it's own beating heart. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over how incredible it is to be pregnant. I am constantly amazed by how the body works.

Winter Warmth

I'm not used to having warm winters. Or did I just not remember them happening when I was younger? Or is a pregnancy thing? It can't be just me, because everyone else in the house is enjoying it, too. We've had the windows open all day, and we've been enjoying the warm weather. It just feels a little strange to me because I always grew up thinking this is how winters were in places like California. Never Missouri! LOL I'm off again today, so we're going to see The Chronicles of Narnia at 7:00 tonight.

Less Stress After Christmas

It's the day after Christmas and I've got nothing planned... This is always one of the best days to relax. As you hurdle closer to the end of the year, it becomes more busy with Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. All of these holidays which involve a lot of family, a lot of Christmas shopping, and a LOT of stress.

The day after Christmas is like one time to catch your breath before the year ends. All I did today was relax and enjoy my day off. I hope you all had a happy and safe Christmas! ♥

4th Of July Art

Happy 4th of July everyone!

If you want to see the larger pic, check it out here at my art site on this link:
http://www.deviantart.com/view/20185271/

current mood: chipper

Time Flies

"Ce qui monte doit descendre."
(No, I don't speak French, but I thought it sounded nice when I used the translator.)

I feel like I haven't wrote in a while since my little stint of depression. (Thankfully it only lasted about three days or so...)

Good news and bad news, my libelings...

Bad news first? Sure, why not. My fish died. It lived a good long seven months, though! But alas... As all fish do, it glubbed it's last glug and floated (sideways and somewhat upside down as all dead fish tend to do) into the light. May he rest in peace.

RIP
Heigh Fischie II
Nov. 2004 - June 2005

And now for the good news! My new room is DONE! I want to share it with everyone but I have to re-take the pictures first. I thought I had my crappy camera all figured out, but apparently not. *stands on a large stone, points a finger to the air and vows* One day I shall have the cool camera that I want!

"Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do
Now that I have allowed you to beat me!
Do you think that we could play another game?
Maybe I could win this time.

I kind of like the misery you put me through.
Darlin' you can trust me completely!
If you even try to look the other way,
I think that I could kill this time."

Disturbed is so freaking awesome. Random songs are on my playlist tonight. Too bad I had to miss them in concert back in the day... Amber always has good taste in music. If you ever get the chance, download The Game by Disturbed. It feels good to be getting back to my goth/punk/alternative roots.

ANYWAY! Here's an update on the GED thing if I didn't say it already: The seats were filled up by the time I went to pay for it, so I have to wait a month. July 26th, I believe. I'm just thinking - Hurry up and get here! I want out of the hell hole that is Wal-Mart! I never realized how vile that place really is and how fake they are.

"Oh, we care about the customer." (Said in a bumpkin retard voice)
*rolls eyes* Yeah right! All they care about is making people miserable so that they can feel better about being at their miserable job! They care about making themselves look important just so they can get more money, when Wal-Mart plays squat as it is.

You know what I want, right? I want a FACTORY job! Yeah! *snicker*
Not really, but the pay is good. Are you kidding me? Do you think I really want to work hard? But it would be pretty neat to be on the other end of the table this time. I worked in a factory before, but I was the lunch lady. This time, I'll be the worker.

Come on, July 26th! I know I'll pass my GED test without fail. I was busting through the tests. They said I'll pass it with no trouble. It's just a question of if I'll get the 3,000 score I need to get a year-paid scholarship to college.

In other news, we had Jeremy's birthday party Sunday night. Our boy is growing up! He turned 18 Monday, but they usually have their parties on the weekends. It was pretty nice. I got to spend the whole day over at Amber's house. We went to a car show and I discovered the beauty of the Stingray! We went to their grandma's house where Paws (the fat cat) bruised up my arm when he bit me. We were just rough-housing, though. (Or however that's supposed to be written.) They paid for my dinner at some Mexican place, so I picked some cheap thing. Tasty and cheap. lol I didn't want to be the tag-along, you know. He liked all the presents I got for him. Then I watched him play Zelda until I passed out. Amber was at work all night so I didn't get to see her until we got home. By then, it was 9:00 at night. Got to spend the whole day with Aydiah, though! (Amber's daughter.) I heard her say "cake", she said "Take it, Papa!"

And the last segment of tonight's broadcast... I was finally able to download FULL songs from Flight of the Conchords! Man, they crack me up. Here's a bit from the Hiphopopotamus Meets the Rhymenocerous:

"They call me the Rhymenocerious.
Not because I'm fat,
Not because I got birds on my back,
Because I'm horny. I'm horny!"

"Other rappers diss me, say my rhymes are sissy!
What? What? Why? Why? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback!
What? Because I rap about reality like me and my grandma having a cup of tea!
There ain't no party like my nana's tea party. Hey... Ho!
(break it down)"

"My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment,
I made all of the lady listeners pregnant."

Or how about stuff from the song Angels:
"There are angels in the clouds doin' it.
There are angels doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it in the clouds!
Behind the shroud of the clouds foolin' 'round.
In the clouds, they're lyin', feathers flyin', angels sighin'."

Stuff from the song Bowie:
"What's a rock musician doing out there in space, man?
Isn't it cold out there Bowie? Do you need my jumper Bowie?
Does the space cold do funny things to your nipples, making them all pointy? Ooh, Bowie!
Do you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antenna transmitting data back to Earth?
Data back to Earth! (laser noises) I bet you do, you freaky old bastard, you.
Is it lonely out there in space, man? Or is there life on Mars?
And wouldn't that be weird because you wrote that song- 'Is there life on Mars?'
And you could write a follup tune and call it... 'There is!'."

Or how about Pencils in the Wind?
"People are like paper dolls. Paper dolls and people, they're the very same shape. Mmm, yeah.
Love is like a roll of cellotape. Real good for making two things one!
But just like that roll of cellotape, love sometimes breaks off before you're done.
Another way that love is similiar to cellotape that I've noticed,
is that sometimes it's hard to see the end. Ain't that the truth my friend?
You search on the roll, you SEARCH on the roll! YOU SEARCH ON THE ROLL WITH YOUR FINGERNAIL!!!
Again and again, and again and again, and agaaaaain... (Drums)
Brown paper, white paper, stick it togehter with cellotape, uh-huh. Ooh, that sticky stuff."

Anyway, that's all for now. Have a good night. I'll write again with the next turn of events. Stay tuned for more action-packed adventure! Same bat-time! Same bat-channel!

Good fight. Good night!

current mood: amused
current music: various

Depressing Poem

Do you ever have that one person who has been in your life that you've had issues with, that they hurt you so deeply that you still ache when someone or something touches on those emotional scars... like what they did, when they hurt you so much, it was like they killed off a part of you in the process... yet you often find yourself wondering about them? Thinking of them?

I wonder why we DO that... Anyway, it makes me furious. I don't WANT to do that, but it happens.

Sometimes, I don't know which way is up, which way is down.
I often find myself spinning around and around.
Not from happiness, though... Not for a dance,
And not in a way you could see at a glance.
My emotions are down, and I start to feel numb.
People start making me feel like I'm dumb.
So what if I don't feel like I want to play?
Just leave me alone. Go away. I'll be okay.
But then the DO leave, and I feel like they don't care.
I hide behind my makeup, my fake smile, and my hair.
But it's alright. I'll live. Let it go...
It's only going to take about a month or so...
Some of you probably can relate to what I share.
Some of you have probably already been there.
If you read this, then great! I thank you with all my heart.
But now I'm going to mope around, so I must depart.

Ciao...

current mood:  crappy
current music: Missing - Evanescence