We're Going Through Changes

Well life is kind of... bad... for the moment. A lot of crappity-crap stuff has been happening, and every time I think things might start looking up, they only get worse. One can only keep hope for so long because hope is diminished, you know. Let's just hope this bad streak is near the end before depression sinks in...

Everything happens for a reason, but it seems like it's usually the bad things that happen in order for good things to happen. Things going on with my mom, my brother, my job, money, everything.

My mom's health isn't the best. It's hard for her to get well and stay that way. I worry that she may have something seriously wrong with her, and that's on my mind a lot. What if it's cancer? It's bad enough that something has to be wrong, but if it's that? I don't know what we would do...

My brother has been in trouble. But more than that, he's been drifting away from the family. Sure we all still live together, but he's not as close to us any more. He's always stuck up his girlfriend's ass, and she's at our house ALL of the TIME! It would be one thing if she just lived there and paid some money to stay with us like my boyfriend does, but she lives there, eats, sleeps, uses resources, and doesn't pay a single cent. She's a freeloader... Of course this causes more problems between my brother and us, and he feels like we're rejecting him because of his girlfriend, and that probably makes him feel like he's being pushed away, but it's not like that. We just don't see it as being fair, but he's a stubborn ass who can't SEE that.

As for my job, I lost it. I was making $9.00 an hour at the factory, and they terminated my employment because I had pictures of my family and stuff on the computer. I was not TOLD I couldn't have these pictures on the computer, and I assumed it was alright because everybody else had personal pictures on the computers, and one guy's files even had porn! The only warning I got at work was a popup that came up and said that we couldn't view anything with porn, violence, or weapons. Nothing about having pictures on the computer. The whole time my supervisors came into the office, they never said a single word about my baby's pictures being up on my screen as my wallpaper. Now they're trying to hassle me because I filed for unemployment and they're trying to appeal it. It's bad enough we're scraping by on the skin of our teeth, but then I lost my job and now they're trying to screw me over like that? Things are just so rough...

At least I got a different job now. A better job, but for MUCH less pay. I'm working the front desk at one of the hotels here in town, and it's only $6.50 an hour for four days a week, but it's a great job so far. Let's just hope this job stays good...

I keep buying powerball tickets, thinking that maybe I'll hit it big and suddenly have all my problems taken care of, but even that's looking dreadful. Let's face it... People like me don't win lotteries...

So that's the news for now. The baby is good. She's had a fever, but her 3rd tooth cut through. She quit minding me when I was trying to teach her 'no', and she would rather have grandma than me, but at least she's mine, and that's what matters most. She's my light. She's so funny and crazy. And SO SMART! Adam is fine. We argue about a lot of things, but it's common stuff for a couple to argue about. He still wants to marry me, so there's that... lol

Catch you later.

XOXOX
Love,
~ me ~

current mood: worried

We're Going Through Changes

Well life is kind of... bad... for the moment. A lot of crappity-crap stuff has been happening, and every time I think things might start looking up, they only get worse. One can only keep hope for so long because hope becomes diminished, you know? Let's just hope this bad streak is near the end before depression sinks in...

Everything happens for a reason, but it seems like it's usually the bad things that happen in order for good things to happen. Things going on with my mom, my brother, my job, money, everything.

My mom's health isn't the best. It's hard for her to get well and stay that way. I worry that she may have something seriously wrong with her bladder, and that's on my mind a lot. What if it's cancer? It's bad enough that SOMETHING has to be wrong with it, but if it's THAT? I don't know what we would do... I'm crushed... And I feel so bad for her!

My brother has been in trouble. But more than that, he's been drifting away from the family. Sure we all still live together, but he's not as close to us any more. He's always stuck up his girlfriend's arse, and she's at our house ALL of the TIME! It would be one thing if she just lived there and paid some money to stay with us like my boyfriend does, but she lives there, eats, sleeps, uses resources, and doesn't pay a single cent. Of course this causes MORE problems between my brother and us, and he feels like we're rejecting him because of his girlfriend, and that probably makes him feel like he's being pushed away, but it's not like that. We just don't see it as being fair, but he's stubborn, and he can't SEE that.

As for my job, I lost it. I was making $9.00 an hour at the factory (TG Missouri), and they terminated my employment because I had pictures of my family and stuff on the computer. I was not TOLD I couldn't have these pictures on the computer, and I assumed it was alright because everybody else had THEIR personal pictures on the computers, and one guy's files even had porn! How awful is that? The only warning I got at work was a popup that came up and said that we couldn't view anything with porn, violence, or weapons. NOTHING about having pictures on the computer. The whole time my supervisors came into the office, they never said a single word about my baby's pictures being up on my screen as my desktop image. Now they're trying to hassle me because I filed for unemployment and they're trying to appeal it.

AND - when I was terminated, I wasn't even working in this position anymore! I was working in a completely different building (I was in the warehouse before, checking in and out boxes that left the building, and now I WAS working in building 2, packing the airbags), but this is what they TOLD me was the excuse for firing me. We all know the REAL reason was because I was asked how I liked the job so far, and I said it made my wrists hurt, trying to squeeze the airbags into the cases, and they didn't want any kind of medical issues to come up against them because of it (like worker's comp, or some kind of 'I got carpal tunnel from working at your factory, and you won't offer me insurance!' kind of problem), so they fired me under some lame excuse.

It's bad enough we're scraping by on the skin of our teeth, but then I lost my job and now they're trying to screw me over like that? Things are just so rough... It'll be okay, though. Everything happens for a reason. That job WAS too hard, and I know I'm just upset because they pay was so good! lol

At least I got a different job now. A better job, but for MUCH less pay. I work at the Best Western hotel in Perryville, working the front desk at night, and it's only $6.50 an hour for four days a week, but it's a great job so far. Let's just hope this job STAYS good... I know one of the girls, at least! Her name is Ashley, and she's pretty awesome. I worked with her before at Walmart, but I didn't know her that well back then. Just through a mutual friend. Even then, though, she always cracked me up and had me laughing. It's good to work with people you like! :-D

I keep buying Powerball tickets, thinking that maybe I'll hit it big and suddenly have all my problems taken care of, but even that's looking dreadful. Let's face it... People like me don't win lotteries... I have it all planned out, if I ever did, though! One day, I'll share my ideas! :-D

So that's the news for now. The baby is good. She's had a fever, but her 3rd tooth cut through. She quit minding me when I was trying to teach her 'no', and she would rather have grandma than me (or "Na-na, as she calls her), but at least she's mine, and that's what matters most. She's my light, and she's what keeps a smile on my face. She's so funny and crazy. And SO SMART! Adam is fine. We argue about a lot of things, but it's common stuff for a couple to argue about. He still wants to marry me, so I love him. lol

Catch you later.
XOXOX

Love,
~ me ~
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Not Gonna Get Us by Tatu