When I Die...

I posted yesterday on Twitter that if I was rich, when I’d die, I’d pay to have my ashes taken to space and scattered so that I could be part of a new star’s creation. I’d really love that... I believe that when a planet gets created, it starts with bits of dust that gravitate to each other and keep compacting and compounding on top of one another until it gets bigger and bigger and creates an actual planet. And I'd like my ashes to be a part of that formation. I think that would be AMAZING!

But all I can find about sending your ashes to space is that they will take your ashes up, orbit them once around the moon, and bring them back. I don't want them to be brought back, I want them to be scattered IN space. But if I can't do that, then I don't want to be cremated at all.

Also when I die, I want "Leave Out All the Rest" by Linkin Park to be played at my memorial. That song's lyrics mean a lot to me about my life, and how I want to be remembered. The song lyrics are as follows:

"I dreamed I was missing. You were so scared. But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared.

After my dreaming, I woke with this fear. What am I leaving when I'm done here?

So if you're asking me, I want you to know -

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.

And don't resent me. And when you're feeling empty,

keep me in your memory. Leave out all the rest.

Leave out all the rest.

Don't be afraid. I've taken my beating. I've shared what I made.

I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through. I've never been perfect, but neither have you.

So if you're asking me, I want you to know -

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.

Don't resent me. And when you're feeling empty,

keep me in your memory. Leave out all the rest.

Leave out all the rest.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well.

Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself.

I can't be who you are."

I also want all of my belongings to go to my daughter Tricity.

I'd like to have all of my online friends notified, and posts made on my social media for them to see.

I don't know where I want to be buried yet, but as long as I'm a body in a casket, I will be happy. I'd like to be next to my grandma and my Mom, but I feel like Portageville is too far away, and I'm not sure where Adam wants to be buried, and I'd like to be by him as well. I imagine he would like to be buried where his grandparents are at the Garden of Memories in Sedgewickville? We don't even have plots bought yet though. Would be buy them here in Perryville?

I'd hope that my makeup would be done the way I like. (Maybe I should get to work on making a "how I do my makeup" tutorial video, so they'll have a reference guide? lol)

I'd say that I don't want anything religious at my funeral or burial, but because I've always been a people pleaser, I'd make an exception for those who would need to believe that my soul is with god. I know my Mom would be one of these people... but I would want it to be made clear that these were not my own personal beliefs.

I'd hope that people would help Adam and Tricity out because I know they won't be able to afford much for my death. Funerals are expensive and we don't really have that much money. We don't have any savings, and pretty much get by paycheck to paycheck.

Other than these things, I can't really think of anything else. As long as these things are done, I will be happy. Hopefully more than 15 people will show up to my funeral, but I'm not really close to anyone so I doubt it. One of these days, I also need to get around to making a YouTube video as my final video to be made public once my day comes...